'dear john' that i never sent #1: darren
Dear Darren,
My intention now is the same as it was since we last spoke - one month ago. That is, to tell you how much I cherish your friendship, but I can't enter into a romantic relationship with someone just to avoid being single.
Although I'm aware that those words may sound venimous, that is not my purpose for saying them.
Ever since you made the comment to me that you don't tink that I am physically attracted to you, I have been constantly questioning myself and looking for a reason that you are wrong. The conclusion that I came to is: the fact that I can't prove you wrong does not make you right. I am very attracted to you -- all outside the definition of physical and emotional and spiritual. I have never felt so comfortable with any man in my life. Those things cannot be explained. It's a yes or no. You are or you aren't; It's one of life's few black and whites (pardon the pun).
I just can't get the rest of my being to go along with all of the feelings that i have for you in my heart -- no matter how hard i will it to happen. It is for that reason I have chosen not to call you or contact you. You always say that communication is the key to all relationships and that actions speak louder than words; and I know, in our case, that the two are mutually exlusive.
The intention that I originally spoke of: I hope that our paths cross again, but for the time being, there is too much between us for this to work. There is too much that I am not willing to do, willing to say, willing to sacrifice. And therein lies the answer that we have been looking for since that first night one year ago.
Without any doubt in my head or my heart ... I love you.
I continue to belive that I will see you soon and that we will be at peace with whatever exists between us.
all of my love,
_b
My intention now is the same as it was since we last spoke - one month ago. That is, to tell you how much I cherish your friendship, but I can't enter into a romantic relationship with someone just to avoid being single.
Although I'm aware that those words may sound venimous, that is not my purpose for saying them.
Ever since you made the comment to me that you don't tink that I am physically attracted to you, I have been constantly questioning myself and looking for a reason that you are wrong. The conclusion that I came to is: the fact that I can't prove you wrong does not make you right. I am very attracted to you -- all outside the definition of physical and emotional and spiritual. I have never felt so comfortable with any man in my life. Those things cannot be explained. It's a yes or no. You are or you aren't; It's one of life's few black and whites (pardon the pun).
I just can't get the rest of my being to go along with all of the feelings that i have for you in my heart -- no matter how hard i will it to happen. It is for that reason I have chosen not to call you or contact you. You always say that communication is the key to all relationships and that actions speak louder than words; and I know, in our case, that the two are mutually exlusive.
The intention that I originally spoke of: I hope that our paths cross again, but for the time being, there is too much between us for this to work. There is too much that I am not willing to do, willing to say, willing to sacrifice. And therein lies the answer that we have been looking for since that first night one year ago.
Without any doubt in my head or my heart ... I love you.
I continue to belive that I will see you soon and that we will be at peace with whatever exists between us.
all of my love,
_b
posted by brian. at 2:07 PM
