new news.

Some news is predictable.

Lying in bed at 7am this morning, before I even turned on my radio, I knew that Brokeback Mountain would be announced as the front runner in many of the 78th Annual Acadamy Award's categories (including a well deserved nod to Mr. Lee). Likewise I knew that I would hear more than once that it is Justin Timberlake's 25th Birthday and that White House "Advisors" are leaking "key" items that W is expected to say in his State of the Union tonight; they should know exactly what he will be saying - they wrote the goddamn thing!

I digress.

During my thirty [or so] minute ride to work, the little people inside my radio were still unable to tell me anything that I hadn't already figured out in between snoozes; that Bob Woodruff has been stabalized and is returning to the US, that certian corporate conglomerates will be reporting record fourth quarter profits, that Shaun Alexander is named the NFL MVP for 2005 (and well deserved), and that we will soon be referring to Samuel Alito with the title Supreme Court Justice.

No suprises.

Until, by way of Joe [he from which most good things come] M'God, I found this:

Mr. Senator:

Tomorrow you will be faced with a vote that may have the longest aftereffects of any other you have cast in your Senate career.

Tomorrow you will decide if your political position is worth more than doing what is right for others like you. For others like you, Mr. Senator, who engage in oral sex with other men. (Although, Mr. Senator, most of us don't do in the bathrooms of Union Station!) Your fake marriage, by the way, will NOT protect you from the truth being told on this blog.

How does this blog decide who to report on? It's simple. We report on hypocrites. In this case, hypocrites who vote against the gay and lesbian community while engaging in gay sex themselves*.

When you cast that vote, Mr. Senator, represent your own...it's the least you could do.

Michael Rogers
blogACTIVE.com

*While votes on many matters are considered, votes "FOR" either the Alito nomination and the Federal Marriage Amendment are enough to qualify legislators for reporting on this site.

Please, Michael, let this not be hot air. Please.

And as I mull over the implications of a revelation that tops anything Howard could do, I am torn between feeling on the verge of vindication and scared that, once again, the GLBT communty will suffer further moral mandates for the now-or-never attitude that brought us The Federal Marriage Amendment.

All of those feeling aside ... I have no respect towards the closeted men and women who take advantage of the royalties of a homosexual lifestyle at the expense of the millions of men and women that make such royalties available by living bravely on this side of the closet door.

I don't know where to weigh in on this. The reality tv side of me says "out the mutherfucker", while the pragmatic side is begging for a resolve to issues that may lead this personal attack to explode in the faces of a marginalized community on the brink of winning an Acadamy Award.

[get the full threat here]

the higher, gayer ground.

A few days back I linked to a post by Mr. Gersh over at the aptly named Zero Base Thinking. In character, I posted a literate and inpiring comment; which is to say, I added fuel to the fire that "men" like Gersh get off on. (And by "men" like Gersh I mean individuals that learned how to enter a few big words into a weakly constructed arguement in support of all things holy.)

In keeping a close eye on all thoughts i let out of my head, I checked back to see if Gersh had awoke from his Coulter induced slumber only to find that the revelation that Gersh has, in fact, defied homosexual law and entered the bedroom of lesbians and that, should I never sample the pleasures of a woman, I have his explicit condolences pity. (you can read it all in the post's comment section)

Well thank you Gersh.

In the same vein of sharing and humanism, I hope that you are one day able to sample the pleasure(s) of a man. (ooo god).

In spite of my initial desire to continue a dialogue with Gersh, I chose the higher ground of shining the light on his ignorant and generalized bigotry of all things not self-serving. (Also I was inspired by GQ to refrain from Blogger-on-Blogger violence.)

So... please, don't make me ask twice:

Save a lesbian, [vebally]attack Gersh!

Blog is the new BF

Starting new projects has never been something that I am bad at: painting the dining room, felating marines, training for marathons, this blog.

Finishing projects ... that's an entirely different animal: just two days ago I began/finished unpacking the apartment that I moved into on September 1st, I haven't taken the edging tape off of the "freshly" painted dining room, I haven't run in months, and I can't remember the last time I felated anyone. Neglecting these projects does not bring me any guilt. Maybe a shred of embarassment, but definately not guilt.

But this blog ... this blog is a constant source of abandonment related guilt.

I must add the disclaimer that I thouroughly enjoy writing. I enjoy the opportunity to have my words read. And I LOVE having an outlet for frustrations with unbiased and uncalculating advice from people throughout the country.

Now ... when my life isn't getting in between me and the computer, the first thing I do is go to my blog dashboard and pretend that I am inspired to write about thoughts that I have in my head; To shed all of the skins that I have been hiding under in my normal 9 to 5.

What naturally happens is me sitting in front of the screen with my right hand on the mouse, navigating through the blog world. So, instead of completing the task of nourishing my relationship with my blog, I act like the true product of reality televison: I read others' blogs and quielty judge/relate to their experiences; The result is a huge cloud of guilt that I can't be like them: I can't be faithful to my blog.

I'm plagued with guilt.

I avoid even going to the dashboard after a few days for fear that I will not have anything to say. It's better not to force it right? It's better to let him call you than for you to just call him [out of obligation]. Hmmm.... and then something as useless as this post comes out of my fingertips and I'm forced to evaluate if the relationship is worth all of the work that I was once willing to put into it.

...maybe we should just take it slow.

I'll call you next weekend.

glad to be back...

fighting the good fight.

Attack!

without even knowing.

Cue the fan fare, I'm back to blogging. And as I look at my previous [posting] history, I'm right on schedule. Unintentionally, I seem to take some time off around the transition from one year to the next. So... in true "creature of habit" nature, I'm back.

And I'm pissed.

I'm pissed that I have let many of my actions of the past four months go unchecked. I feel like the executive branch that has let my judicial branch take hiatus. Let me list the things of which I carry shame:

1. The T.V. is still in my bedroom; I have not read a book in months.

2. I'm taking my sweet ass time getting back on the runnning schedule. Truth be told, I'm carrying around about 8 lbs. of holiday weight. >>looks for running shoes<<

3. For the third straight election, I voted for the good guy and lost. (see: Mayor Byron Brown of Buffalo). And did I say I risked my reputation: I FUCKING VOTED FOR A REPUBLICAN. But I stand by my choice, and this city will soon enough see that we could use a business man and not a civil rights issue-monger.

and most recently... >takes a deep breath<

4. Last Wednesday, I sat on my couch with my jaw in my lap as I witnessed Fox's guilty pleasure of the month alientate a young man for wearing women's clothing (albeit a tame swoop neck T and a pair of jeans similar to those found in any male punkrock star's closet).
I was hurt, but knowing that I take most things defaming of the GLBT community personally, I shared my concern with a few friends and resolved to let it be T.V. and limit further support of all things Idol until some sort of penance was made... which is to say: no more Idol for Brian.
So this morning, because I have Sirius only in my car, I was forced to listen to bigot/terrestrial radio while in the shower. My choice: The Shred and Reagan Show on 103.3 The Edge. Their report on the Idol hate-crime and the ensuing public statement from GLAAD(not this GLADD)was mortifying. Although they did not report the exact contents of the statement, the duo proceeded to exclaim that "the Gays" would do 'anything to get noticed' and that "the Gays" need to relax and 'take a joke'.
Imagine me naked and soapy.
[your welcome]
Now, imagine me naked, soapy, and screaming at the radio.
I'll never understand why a large percentage of this American population has adopted the "I have no problem with the gays" attitude. These bigots have the unstated understanding that the "no problem" stance justifiably opens up doors for them to insult and discriminate on the backhand; in most cases the "no problems" caveat makes these statements and actions of hatred far more damaging than when they're made by someone who flat out admits to bigotry and Hetero-dominance (I don't even think a hyperlink is needed here).
So there I am, still naked but a bit less soapy, sounding off like George W. Bush on September 12, 2001: "If you're not with us, you're against us."

New Rule: It is never justified to make ignorant statements preambled by the proclomation that you are okay with "The Gays". If you are to actually be okay with the Gays, you must be accepting and supportive of all aspects of queer life or you will be but a speed bump on the speedway to equality. If you are actually to be okay with the Gays, you shouldn't have to caveat your insolence. If you are to actually be okay with the Gays, you should be okay with them being as noticable and vocal as you are. And if you are to actually be okay with the Gays, you should be just as appaled by the way American Idol [stereotupically and hatefully] protrayed a youth who may or may not be a member of the [GLBT] human family.