The vacation that I didn't know that I needed.
After deciding a few weeks back that i would let the floodwaters of my feelings and thoughts flow onto this blog, i made the unspoken commitment to write SOMETHING on a regular basis. The thing is, this decision came at a time when inspiration was running low. (see: git down gurl, g'gead, git down).
Then, BAM!
Last Firday the world tragically lost another wonderfully uncomplicated person to HIV. Though, everyday, I work intimately with people advocating and educating regarding HIV, each related death is a "bring-you-to-your-knees" blow to the psyche - both personally and professionally. Throughout last weekend and the week that followed I was able to express myself in avenues apart from writing. I took a lot of time to concentrate on the living people that were/are still in my care. I also took a good look at how effective the system fighting HIV is and began tayloring my energy so that i was/am/continue reaching the right people effectively. (Which will hopefully catch on with my staff and continue to grow and be part of my legacy.)
And of coure: Katrina. High on a wave of anger at the current administration for lack of attention to HIV, i was exponentially irritated and saddened by the response to the natural destruction of an American legacy and the people that make that area famous for hospitality. We'll see where the next few months take us. I have hopes that this will shed light on an administration scarce of leaders and decision makers helping to blaze the way for true americans that will foster a new fad in politics: educated thinking.
It has been a week filled with reading and informing myself ... and crying until i couldn't breathe. I need to feel like i'm doing something. I need to feel like i'm talking everyday about the things that make me angry. I feel like i can get caught up in making myself so happy that i forget about the rest of humanity and the choice that i made two years ago to be an advocate for those who share my beliefs, feelings, and thirtst for equality, but do not share the access that i have to the catylists of change (money, education, drinking water, a t-cel count over 200).
So that's been my week. Sounds heavey, but i think i got through it with a mission and a renewed belief that one person can make some sort of change. And i have hope that the ripple effect works much better than "trickle down".
Thanks T-yank for lifting up the rock that i have been hiding under. Know that you have been a constant since 8/26. thanks.
oh ... and I did do one thing pleasurable this week:Coldplay live on 9/1. If you ever get a chance treat yourself. Those Brits have their shit together and they ROCK!
Good to be back.
Then, BAM!
Last Firday the world tragically lost another wonderfully uncomplicated person to HIV. Though, everyday, I work intimately with people advocating and educating regarding HIV, each related death is a "bring-you-to-your-knees" blow to the psyche - both personally and professionally. Throughout last weekend and the week that followed I was able to express myself in avenues apart from writing. I took a lot of time to concentrate on the living people that were/are still in my care. I also took a good look at how effective the system fighting HIV is and began tayloring my energy so that i was/am/continue reaching the right people effectively. (Which will hopefully catch on with my staff and continue to grow and be part of my legacy.)
And of coure: Katrina. High on a wave of anger at the current administration for lack of attention to HIV, i was exponentially irritated and saddened by the response to the natural destruction of an American legacy and the people that make that area famous for hospitality. We'll see where the next few months take us. I have hopes that this will shed light on an administration scarce of leaders and decision makers helping to blaze the way for true americans that will foster a new fad in politics: educated thinking.
It has been a week filled with reading and informing myself ... and crying until i couldn't breathe. I need to feel like i'm doing something. I need to feel like i'm talking everyday about the things that make me angry. I feel like i can get caught up in making myself so happy that i forget about the rest of humanity and the choice that i made two years ago to be an advocate for those who share my beliefs, feelings, and thirtst for equality, but do not share the access that i have to the catylists of change (money, education, drinking water, a t-cel count over 200).
So that's been my week. Sounds heavey, but i think i got through it with a mission and a renewed belief that one person can make some sort of change. And i have hope that the ripple effect works much better than "trickle down".
Thanks T-yank for lifting up the rock that i have been hiding under. Know that you have been a constant since 8/26. thanks.
oh ... and I did do one thing pleasurable this week:Coldplay live on 9/1. If you ever get a chance treat yourself. Those Brits have their shit together and they ROCK!
Good to be back.
posted by brian. at 3:38 PM
