dear john (no.2)

19,

I almost never think of you anymore.

But when I do, I find that I am still able to say eloquenlty simple and hauntingly hurtful words to you (like: I almost never think about you).

The truth here is that I don't recall there ever being a period of time that I did think of you [often]. You've made me a bigger part of your life than I was ever willing to make you in mine. To say the scales are tipped would be an unfair statement. Actually, you're pretty inconsequential in my life.

If you must know, I never let you get close because I'm looking for an equal. Someone that is a little bit of a challenge. Someone that can fall in love with me for the qualities that I actually posess, not for the qualities that result from a falicy.

You've made claim that I just want to be the lonely, bitter fag. I think you've overestimated how well you know me. In reality (which I know you may have only a passing acquaintance with), you don't know a thing about me except for the slander that our mutual "friend" has told you. Some advice - his handle on reality is far less solid than yours, so please be cautious sharing information within that "frienship".

Now, it'd be nice if I could say here that I think you're a great guy, but I don't know you. And I stand by that choice. I'd be at an unfair advantage being that you think you know me while I'm just trying to learn about you.

I don't care to know you.

I care that nothing bad happens to you. But past that, I have no feelings.

All the best in life.

_brian

P.S. Stop calling me.